This post is inspired from JLo lighting up the internet with her ‘Turning 52’ photos – in a hot bikini, cruising in a yatch in Capri, kissing Ben Affleck, and essentially, looking like a million bucks!
Flooded with DM’s from my 30-something friends of the meme that went viral thereafter – the one that had ‘JLo at 52’ on one side and ‘me at 35’ on another – I couldn’t help but feel unsettled at how we let the 30-something label define us.
Jokes and memes aside (which, I agree, are extremely funny, just as they are self-deprecating), the 30-something generation of today is NOT the 30-something generation of yesterday. We have kids and full-time jobs, we ‘invest’ in our bodies just as we do in good lingerie, we have skincare routines and date nights, we can hold a conversation about money and politics, AND we bake sourdough with a dip called babaganoush.
The new definition of sexy is not ‘young’ and ‘size zero’ but empowered and independant.
And yet, we find it so hard to give ourselves credit for how far we have come. Of how cognisant we are of our needs, preferences and choices.
We want to believe that we are not our age or our fine lines, but we tend to blame age for every momentary lapse of memory, every ‘tired’ moment of our day, every unwelcome acne scar, every hangover headache, and every extra pound of flesh. Yes, age does have a bearing on how our bodies cope with nature – both on the inside and the outside – but that should never stop us from looking after ourselves well. Something we didn’t have to do when we were 20, because nature allowed us some slack.
This 30-something stereotype is so ingrained in our social upbringing, we often fail to see beyond it – even though we are beyond it! It’s just the way we are wired. Making age the villain that it is not.
Yes, it is so frustrating to watch younger-somethings have the things we work so hard for. Good skin. Good hair. Good metabolism. Good sleep. Good close-up photos. Good bounce-back-after-partying-all-night. But, it is equally satisfying to have those things when they are well-earned.
It’s an achievement.
It’s realising of goals.
It’s being aware of our minds and bodies.
It’s focusing on our well-being.
The kind of stuff that turns us on.
Being 30-something is filled with joie de vivre. At a whole new level.
So, I say, we stop associating it with sagging breasts and flailing libidos.
That is not true and you know it.
We stop with the unreal beauty standards of no smile lines or no greying hairlines.
They are memories of a life well-lived.
We stop aspiring to have flawless bikini bods just because.
We get those buns of glory off the couch and onto the yoga mat – for fitter minds and fitter bodies.
We stop tagging 35+ pregnancies as ‘geriatric.’ Doctors now call it an ‘advanced maternal age’.
Educate and be educated.
We start feeling okay about date nights with books. About coffee over cosmopolitan. About shopping alone.
We can’t be happy doing the same things we did a decade ago. Change is good. So good.
We don’t say – ‘I’m growing older’. Instead we say – ‘I’m growing’.
Growth is beautiful.
And, we 30-somethings dig it.
So, start your Monday with love and gratitude for your 30-something striking personality, beautiful body and mindful words.
As for JLo at 52 – that’s going on my vision board.
Until next time,